so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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