Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
