Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
