I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize