I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
