My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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