She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
