Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
