Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
