You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm bleeding and have questions
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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