looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
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Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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