I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
