Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
