party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
