Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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