whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
