i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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