Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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