what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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