Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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