At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i dont even know how to be here
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
