I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
