her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize