I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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