I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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