we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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