Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
