I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
