I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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