I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
