someone get that fucking seahorse.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Naked Twister starts at high noon
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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