Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So much rum. So many feels.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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