I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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