i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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