We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
