I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
