I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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