4 words: hood of his car
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Randomize
