There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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