The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
