what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
