Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
