That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
