the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
