Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
