I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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