PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I hate all girls vehemently.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
