legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
