question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize
