I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
