I accidentally burped into my bong.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
