He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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