I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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