if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
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I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
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Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
did i just pee glitter
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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