I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
