Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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