There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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