I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
