he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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