That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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