I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
