this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
