Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
