honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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