Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
