what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
