I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
