i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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