I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
